Sometimes friendships can be as toxic as romances. Two people can drift apart for no apparent reason and just become strangers.
But it’s also possible that your friend is just a bad person. Someone who lies to you, manipulates you or does everything to ruin your life. Your friend may be jealous of you and trying to score points for you.
When a friendship loses interest, another reason may be involved. Indeed, your friend may have personal problems, she may be addicted to a substance or she has simply chosen to follow a path that does not correspond to you.
In short, there are many reasons that can lead you to want to put a “stop” to this relationship that is pulling you down. If you’ve drifted apart, it’s probably time to clear things up.
But whatever the situation, you have to show respect. Indeed, your friend must have the opportunity to turn the page and understand why you have chosen to follow another path.
These changes in relationships are normal. After this confinement, you may have spent a lot of time alone to finally understand that some people should not be part of the new chapter of your life.
It can be tempting to pretend to be a ghost or send an insincere text like, “Hey, I’m really busy, but I’d like to see each other when things calm down.”
But if you really don’t see yourself getting anything positive out of this relationship, that kind of texting will only delay the inevitable and likely increase resentment along the way.
Instead, try to be transparent if you can. Be upfront and honest with your feelings, no matter how long your friendship lasts.
Here are some messages you can send if you want to have a clean, yet respectful, friendly breakup.
1. “You hurt me too much”
If your friend hasn’t been there for you when you needed her or if she has done something hurtful (jealousy, lying, etc.), you may feel the need to get away from her so as not to to be surrounded by negativity.
Toxic people don’t change, so it’s up to you to protect yourself.
I still can not believe it ! What you did is not worthy of a best friend. I don’t know if you realize the harm you’ve done to me, but for me, it’s unforgivable. I therefore prefer to put an end to our friendship.
2. “It’s not you, it’s me”
You may be overwhelmed by the number of friend requests that are pouring in now that more people are being vaccinated and some invitations are bound to elicit more joy than others.
If you don’t want to date a particular person because you know you’re going to be bitter about it, try to be honest.
I know a lot has happened, but right now I don’t think I can go out and be the best friend I can be.
3. “You weren’t there for me”
When you’ve been hurt by your partner’s complete lack of communication, it’s okay to be honest about it. Indeed, if you have always been there for your friend, but she has never returned the favor, you should not hide your feelings.
Not talking to you during this time really hurt me and I think in our friendship we should both be important.
4. “We don’t want the same things”
The pandemic has changed a lot of things.
That party girl friend you used to have has been really excited about getting back to bars since the pandemic ended . But, you have changed. Indeed, you have come to appreciate quiet nights at home during COVID.
While I appreciate the invitation to hang out, my interests have changed over the past year and I feel like we’ve drifted apart.
5. “We have nothing in common anymore”
If you no longer feel the spark of the old friendship and feel like it’s a burden to spend time together, there are kind ways to tell someone.
It’s hard to say, but I have to be honest. It’s time for me to put myself first and the best thing for me is not to pursue this friendship.
6. “We grew apart”
You can also tell your friend that you’ve moved on by telling her how positive you feel about her.
You are really important to me, but honestly, I think we grew apart.
You can tell her anything you like about her, but that, despite everything, your friendship doesn’t really have a future.
I have wonderful memories with you. I think you are an exceptional woman, but I believe that our paths have taken different directions. And I’m sorry about that.
7. “I have new friends”
This one can really hurt!
You don’t have to insist that you’ve moved on to be sincere. But if you’ve met new people who have become much closer, more sincere, and much more optimistic friends, you may not have room for that friend who treats you.
I care about you and you have been a wonderful friend to me. But being in this relationship is not something I’m able to focus on right now.
8. “I have to be sincere”
There’s nothing wrong with being sentimental. There’s no harm in sending a longer, slightly more forceful explanation. If you feel the need to go into detail about why you got to this point in your relationship, do it!
Just know that you don’t have to be disrespectful.
I wanted to tell you that I have been thinking of you and, if I haven’t said it in a long time, that I have appreciated all the history and the memories that we have created. Life has changed so much and in so many unexpected ways.
I’ve done a bit of introspection and work on myself and I think the way I want to continue living from now on will be a little different for me. I feel [emotion word]. I hope that as you go through these next chapters, you will find a sense of [happiness, joy, contentment, satisfaction, etc.].
9. “It’s my fault, but…”
Sometimes it was you who walked away from your best friend, but that didn’t cause you any problems.
Hey, I’m so sorry for being distant lately. It’s been very difficult to deal with everything that’s happened lately and I appreciate your patience with me as I begin to figure it all out – but I’m not ready to be around other people just yet.
If by “other people” you mean “that particular person”, you can let them know by combining this message with any of the above for a personalized and sweet way to end a friendship.
10. “I’m not okay”
You may be going through a bad time, you may be plagued by negative emotions. If you tried to manage alone or if you tried to manage with your friends but it didn’t work out, surely you need some novelties.
You may have to start all over again to build the life you dream of.