Dating is hard enough when men treat you well, but learning how to get a man to stop playing with your feelings is a whole other thing.
Since I’ve been played with more than I want to admit, I know how it feels when someone treats your feelings like it’s just a game.
And all women need to understand how to get a man to stop playing games!
Trying to be with a man who sees you as a conquest or a challenge, rather than real people with feelings, feels crappy. It feels like you don’t care and it really sucks.
Fortunately, there are ways you can get a man to stop playing games and actually treat you with respect. But what are they?
Does a man play with your feelings?
Before you try to get a man to stop playing with your feelings, find out if he really is. I don’t mean to say that you are wrong. Sometimes we come to a decision based upon our past experiences.
For example, since I’ve dealt with many men who play games, I assume the worst from the start. The fact is, however, that not all men play games.
Things like forgetting to reply to a text, not being interested, or even being shy can seem like a game to someone used to such bad intentions when in reality it is completely innocent.
Signs that a man is playing games
To help you figure out if he’s actually playing games with you or just being nervous, here are some ways to tell the difference:
# 1 He’s evasive about his past.
An honest man tries to bond with you and is open about his past. A guy who plays games doesn’t want you to know he cheated on his ex.
If you ask why his last relationship didn’t work out, he’ll likely say something like “she was crazy”.
# 2 He doesn’t want you to get to know his friends.
If he just wants to play games and not be with you, he’ll keep you separate from the rest of his life.
Whether he’s with someone else or not, he doesn’t want you to integrate into his group of friends. It’s easier to fool you when you’re alone.
# 3 He doesn’t want to date you.
Maybe he invited you on a date once, but now you just go to his house. A gamer makes the slightest effort to see or impress you.
# 4 He only gets in touch when it suits him.
If he never has time to check in but then expects you to cancel your plans at the last minute to see him, if he has nothing better to do, he will use you and play with you.
# 5 He breaks his promises.
Sure, sometimes something comes up and he can’t keep your appointment. When he regularly cancels last-minute plans or you
Promising things that you know will never happen, he’s just playing games. He has no intention of adhering to it.
# 6 He doesn’t want to be online with you.
A man who wants to be with you will be happy to be. He won’t have a problem interacting with you on social media or even posting photos of you together.
But when he’s playing games, he’s secretive. He doesn’t want others to know you’re together. He wants to avoid any evidence that you are together.
# 7 He doesn’t ask you anything.
If he plays games with your feelings, they mean nothing to him. He doesn’t ask you how your day was, how your relationship with your parents is, or anything. He may ask you how you feel about him to make sure he still has power over you, but not much else.
# 8 He’s busy on his cell phone all the time.
If he takes forever to reply to your texts but is stuck on his phone when you’re together, he’s definitely playing games.
# 9 You’re exhausted.
Sure, some guys are just puzzling. They don’t even know what they’re feeling themselves. So how should you know?
But if you’re tired of trying to impress him or find out how he feels about you, there is a reason for it. He wants to drive you completely crazy. He wants to make you think about him, all the time. That gives him power.
# 10 He gets pissed off when you say no.
A man who plays with your feelings wants to do something good for his ego. And the best way to do that is to have sex with you. If you say no or that you’re not in the mood, he’ll get angry, upset, annoyed, or find an excuse to leave.
That is its main goal. If he can’t achieve it, he’ll either give up or try to pressure you. NOT COOL.
How to get a man to stop playing with your feelings
Now that you know whether he is actually playing with you, make your own game plan.
I don’t mean to approve of you beating him in his own games – instead, end the game itself.
A man who plays games has a false sense of self. He’s likely playing games with you to build his low self-esteem by exercising power over you.
If he does just a little something to get you to like him and think about him, he’ll feel good. That power is like a drug to him. He believes that he can control you because you need his love and approval.
He’s the game master and you’ve been drawn into his game. But now that you know what he was doing, you can get out. Just stop playing the game.
Stop doing this nonsense. If he makes any excuses when you ask him to meet your friends, don’t accept them. Tell him you won’t wait for him to take you and your feelings seriously.
Most of the men who play games then go defensive. They accuse you of overreacting. But stay strong and know that you are worth more than a guy who sees you as a token to give his ego a boost.
You deserve a man who treats your feelings on an equal footing with his own, rather than someone who sees you as a means to an end.
The next time he invites you to come over at the last minute and probably late at night, say no. Even if you have time and want to see him, say no. You don’t need to come up with an excuse or say that you are on your way.
Say no. If he asks why tell him you’d rather be alone and leave it at that.
We go out of our way to be the cool girl who doesn’t ask him who he’s texting or why he canceled plans or why we never go out together. But trying to be “cool” keeps us from getting a man we really deserve.
Sure, if you talk to him about his behavior, he might notice that you won’t put up with this. Maybe he’ll change and start treating you with respect. But men who play games are often too immature or careless for that.
No matter how much fun you are having with him right now, or how hot he is, or how cute he can be, the best way to learn how to get a man to stop playing games is to break up with him.
Just end it. I know it’s easier said than done, but block it if you have to. Know your worth and kick it out. Final whistle.
If enough women give him the pass when he tries games, he may eventually realize that women are not playing figures, but real people who also deserve to be treated as such.
So next time you need to know how to get a man to stop playing games, just stop yourself. His game ended before it even started.