Why do some couples develop a love-hate relationship?
Why do couples have a love-hate relationship?
A love-hate relationship is one in which both partners have strong feelings for each other, but are inconsistent in their expression.
They therefore behave affectionately on some occasions and as enemies on others.
You and your partner didn’t find yourself in this whirlwind of love and hate overnight. This situation is the result of many small things and here are some of them.
1. The ego
Ego and love cannot go together.
If you and your partner have giant egos that overshadow your love, you have a hard time accepting your flaws.
And when your partner tries to point them out to you, you may take it the wrong way.
2. Compatibility issues
Things can also go wrong when your views and expectations about love, life, goals, and dreams don’t match.
3. Undecided personalities
If both partners have very strong personal opinions and views and they are not ready to give them up or even bend them a little for the sake of being together, love can turn into hate into no time.
4. Control issues
Another downside to having a strong personality is the need to control.
If you and your partner are constantly arguing over who is in control of the relationship, then there is only war and no love.
5. Deceit, jealousy and insecurity
Such negative traits also push a relationship into a love-hate cycle.
If you encounter these issues and ignore them instead of dealing with them, they could breed hatred and resentment in you.
6. Trying to perfect the other, but not yourself
When you always find flaws and want your partner to be perfect, but ignore your own flaws, you inevitably create a love-hate situation.
When you identify the cause of all those intense, yet wavering emotions, you can work to fix them before the relationship heads for a breakup.
We will give you some tips to achieve this.
How do you manage a love-hate relationship?
If you want to try to fix your problems, you have to realize that it’s a long-term job and that you’re going to have to work hard to change your habits.
1. Empty your thoughts
The main problem in a love-hate relationship is indecision.
You can’t keep questioning your position in the relationship and expect things to go well.
To get your relationship out of this frustrating phase, you and your partner must first be clear whether you want to continue or leave the relationship.
Unless you’re in an abusive or toxic relationship, a love-hate relationship might just be a phase.
By making the right efforts, you can steer him on the path to happiness.
2. Identify negative feelings
The next step is to identify the negative emotions causing the friction.
It could be your lack of patience or your partner’s character, both of which make you bitter.
The next time you’re about to lash out at your partner, stop and think for a moment.
If you can’t control your anger, don’t react. Take your time and think about the scenario with a calm mind.
3. Emphasize the positives
Everyone has flaws and that’s completely normal. The sooner you accept it, the better, because once you accept the person as they are, you will be free from negative thoughts and nagging questions.
Once the negative thoughts are cleared, you will be able to see the positives in each other that make the relationship stable to achieve happiness, gain confidence in yourself and the relationship, and begin to trust your partner.
However, this may not be true if either partner exhibits narcissistic behavior or poses a threat to your children or you.
4. Spend more time with each other
This step may seem simple, but when a couple is in a love-hate relationship, being able to tolerate each other and have a happy conversation without fights can be a miracle.
There will always be arguments and difficult times. Spend as much time as possible together, go out together, do things you both enjoy.
This will help strengthen the friendship between you two.
Similarly, when you find yourself in an impasse, discuss like mature adults instead of brushing the situation aside. You will be surprised how easily a problem can be solved.
5. Know what to let go
There’s a reason you haven’t been able to let go of your partner, even though you hate them (sometimes).
Find that reason, think about it, and if you think your negative emotions such as ego, controlling behavior, and inflexible nature are not more important than the relationship, then let them go without hesitation.
A love-hate relationship can be frustrating.
But if you manage to get through this phase successfully, you will have formed a strong and healthy bond that can take the relationship to new heights. So do not throw away love in a hurry.
Have a little patience and see how you can work miracles.
But if said relationship is toxic and abusive and if your partner is taking advantage of your kindness, then withdraw from that relationship.
It’s always wise to give up the wrong things for the right reasons.
