You still love each other, but is it still time to separate?
You are uncertain about the possibility of leaving your partner. On the one hand, you’re still in love with him, but on the other, you wonder if your love for him is enough to stay.
Comfort is one of the main reasons we choose to stay.
You don’t know life without it or, in any case, you forgot what it was like.
And if you’re in a long-term relationship, you probably can’t imagine life without your partner. But life goes on, we promise.
Here are the points you need to pay attention to if you want to know if it’s time to leave your man.
1. You no longer feel love for your partner.
We may love our partners, but that doesn’t mean we are necessarily in love with them.
Forget love. Appreciation is a very good indicator here. Do you love your partner? In the sense that you want to be with this person, you seek them out, you enjoy being with them.
At the beginning of a relationship, we tend to ignore all behaviors that challenge indifference because of our initial infatuation with our partner.
But after the honeymoon period, it becomes harder to ignore them.
2. You feel like your partner just wants to control you.
In a healthy relationship, much of what we do is influenced by who we are with, which is okay if you are a decent human being.
But when you feel like you are being controlled and have no choice in what you do, the relationship becomes unhealthy.
It can be difficult to know when boundaries have been crossed, because at the beginning of a relationship, we naturally do it ourselves, which easily blurs the line between healthy and unhealthy.
Once, you came home early from a party so as not to wake up your partner, who had to work early in the morning. But now going out on weekdays is a definite no and you haven’t seen your friends in months.
Manipulation can make you feel like you are acting for the good of your relationship, when in reality, your relationship is controlling you.
3. You don’t feel respected
A relationship should be an equal partnership where mutual respect reigns.
When you give an opinion or express your emotions, you should feel heard and valued. If not, respect will most likely tilt in his favor.
4. You’re not having fun anymore
Pleasure is the cement of intimacy.
Everyday life in most marriages can’t be fun, but you should feel that there is an undercurrent of happiness and pleasure that frequently comes to the surface.
You need to ask yourself if you regularly have fun with your partner. You spend more time with your significant other than anyone else, and you want to make sure it’s enjoyable.
But each of us has a different definition of fun, something you can enjoy isn’t necessarily something they enjoy.
5. You don’t have the same values
It takes more than love to sustain a relationship.
Romantic feelings and attraction are great at first, but they’re not enough to sustain a long-term relationship.
You must have a common goal, a reason why you are together. It could be things like achieving a successful career, raising children, or improving the world (if you’re super ambitious).
6. You’re not really yourself
Ever had that weird experience when you’re with someone and find yourself acting like someone other than yourself?
We can change the way we engage with people based on who they are.
While usually this is a particularly helpful attribute (think job interview), in our most important relationship it can be a sign of trouble.
You should be with someone who makes you want to be the best version of yourself, but you should always be a version of yourself.
There’s a difference between improving the qualities you already have and becoming an entirely different person.
7. You don’t trust him anymore
Trust is the very foundation of a relationship. Without it, nothing can make sense.
Lasting love is based on respect, commitment and mutual trust.
Can you tell your partner without reservation, “I entrust my life to you”? Do you think he always has your back? Does he protect you at home and in public? Can you tell him everything and I mean everything?
8. Your needs are not being met
We all have basic needs that we want to see met in a relationship, and most of us make them clear on the first date.
At first, he may be able to satisfy them, he may even have needs similar to yours. But over time, these needs may change.
Maybe when you first met you didn’t want to have kids, now your partner wants to have a family or vice versa.
Think about whether this relationship is enriching your life or detrimental to it.
9. You are convinced that you would be better off on your own.
If you are convinced that it is better to be single than to remain in an unhappy relationship, this may be one of the signs that your relationship is over.
Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be happy, and being single doesn’t mean you’ll be unhappy.
Like everything in life, it’s what you make of it.
When you get to a point where you know you’ll be happier being single than staying in the relationship, it’s time to move on.
10. You constantly argue
Disagreements are normal in a relationship. But if you’re constantly arguing with your partner, even over trivial matters, that’s unhealthy and it’s time to pack your bags.
Not every disagreement needs to turn into heated arguments that require days off.
Calmly voicing your opinion shouldn’t trigger a violent argument, but if it does, it’s the result of deeper issues that could benefit from psychological help.
11. Your partner is violent, physically or emotionally
It’s not just about physical abuse. Humiliation, criticism, belittlement and blackmail are all signs of emotional abuse.
Most people who are emotionally abused are unaware of it because they are not physically hurt.
But making yourself feel like you’re not good enough is just as damaging to your mental health.
You should always feel safe with your partner, and if you don’t, you may be experiencing some form of emotional abuse.